we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
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She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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