i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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