I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
