y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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