i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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