I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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