oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize