My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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