your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
