Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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