Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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