Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
