i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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