thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
