Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
