I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
