If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
