im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize