I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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