1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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