my mouth tastes like poor choices
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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