so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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