I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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