You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
