Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want to make out with him forever
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
