jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
