So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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