he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
