Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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