i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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