problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
