dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
