i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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