VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
