Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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