Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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