i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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