Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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