how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
