ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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