i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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