im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
