I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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