someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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