Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
