Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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