Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If that was your dad, he is hot
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
