Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
