My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
