My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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