I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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