____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
