Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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