We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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