she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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