I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
