you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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