woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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