ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize