Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize