All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think people are normalizing furries
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
