sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
