Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
