You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
